這年頭----                                                                             
        
 老婆是家，情人是花。工資給家，獎金送花。                                                       
 病了回家，好了看花。                                                                         
  
離不了的是家，忘不了的是花。常回家看看，別忘了澆花。

這年頭----

女人漂亮的不下廚房，下廚房的不溫柔， 溫柔的沒主見，                                            
 有主見的沒女人味，有女人味的亂花錢， 不亂花錢的不時
尚，時尚不放心， 放心的沒法看！

  這年頭----

  有錢有閒無病，人間絕品；有錢無閒無病，人間珍品；                                               
  無錢有閒無病，人間上品；無錢無閒無病，人間次品；無錢無閒有脾氣，人間廢品！

這年頭----

 和美女睡覺興奮致死；和情人睡覺醉生夢死；                                                       
 和小姐睡覺勞累致死；和醜女睡覺煩躁致死；                                                       
 和老婆睡覺整夜裝死；

 這年頭----

 升官無望不宜做大官十大類的人:                                                                  
  1). 膽小，                                                                     
            
  2). 話多，                                                                         
            
  3). 錢少，                                                                       
            
  4). 關係差，                                                                         
          
 5). 酒量小，                                                                       
          
 6). 才華橫溢，                                                                         
        
  7). 學歷太高，                                                                         
        
  8). 疾惡如仇，                                                                         
        
  9). 性功能差，                                                                         
        
 10). 有姿色又不肯獻身。                                                                        
 
                                                                        
                    
 這年頭----

 情人是手表 越漂亮越好，小秘是懷表 越隱秘越好，                                                 
 小姐是電子表 越新鮮越好，老婆是自動表 不上弦照
跑，各種表都想要 只要時間要掌握好！                                                                
 

王太太的老公                                                                          
            
 在公家機關服務，有一次                                                                          
  
 跟隔壁鄰居陳太太聊天的時候說：「跟公務員生活最單調乏味了。」

 陳太太懷疑的問：「真會是這樣嗎？」

 「昨天我跟老公吵了一架後，我就寫了一份離婚協議書，                                                 
 他則想了老半天，居然只在離婚協議書上面批了兩個字。」

 陳太太好奇的問：「究竟批了哪兩個字？                                                               
 是不是批如擬這兩個字？」                                                                       
    

 「才不是呢，他批的是慰留！」